Breakfast Club: Aug. 22 Update

Well, well, well... long time, no posts. I was there on both Wednesday and Thursday of the past two weeks, but I neglected to post about it. In general, Wednesday's crowd is typical a larger turn-out than the Thursday crowd, and as such Scott and Lyle are able to do things a little bit different than Jesse and Joe. But the core is the same: skating, passing and shooting, then passing, shooting and skating. Sounds so simple, eh? I could give a laundry list of what was done this week or last week, but I'm guessing that you sometimes read the blog hoping to gain a little insight into something else.

So this week's blog will give you the gritty underbelly of morning hockey clinics. Yes, I will now tell you all of our secrets. But be warned: one by one, I will have to hunt you down and erase your memory with that flash-scanner-pen thingy from Men in Black.

First untold truth: we all suffer from hockey imposter syndrome. If our teammates from the beer league ever knew how truly bad (we think) we play, we're convinced that we'd get kicked off the team in a minute, surely, the team is only carrying us to be nice. So we come to these clinics in the hopes of fixing our flaws and justifying our places on the roster.

Second untold truth: we crave acceptance. Misery loves company, and there is a perverse comfort in being in the company of others who similarly have inferiority complexes over their hockey abilities. It's a support group with very odd morning habits, what can I say?

Third untold truth: we have a ton of fun. No, I don't suck in my gut anymore on the beach, thank you very much, I'm comfortable with me just the way I am. And, why yes, I did neglect to shave…again – for the fourth day, so? I'm not here to impress you. I'm here to have fun. And so is everyone else. Is it sometimes hard to get up in the morning to get to hockey? I'd be lying if I didn't say yes. But I'd be grumpy and disappointed with myself all week long if I didn't go. Absolutely. Because it is just so doggoned much fun. It's a great crowd. The coaches are fabulous, the fellow (and sister!) skaters are a hoot, and our goalies are a constant source of merriment. How many times in your day do you describe what you've done with the word "merriment", hmmm? Never, I bet. But you could, if only you were playing hockey with us at o'dark thirty in the morning!

I can't believe that the summer session is almost over. Poor me? No way. Just need to make sure I get that registration in for the fall session, that's all.

Keep you head up, and your eyes on the goal. And watch out for me when you least expect it, because I'll have that pen scanner thingy aimed at you :)

Breakfast Club: Aug. 2 Update

Woo Hoo! I got to play hockey two mornings in a row! Now that is what I call full utilization of resources.

Wednesday's crowd was a nice neat 20, amazingly divided equally enough between reds and blues to offer a nice little scrimmage opportunity at the end. And seeing as Coach Herb ... I mean Scott ... had us doing line-to-line stops and starts, by the time the last 10 minutes rolled around, we were ready for the opportunity to sit on the bench for a few. Lyle, on the other hand, had me working on that doggoned wrist shot again. Gesh, boys, I blog about my lousy wrist shot so you set your mind to fixing it, eh? But let us not forget how we started our day with the beloved "S" drill. You know, start at the boards along the red, skate down around the dot to the blue, back up to the red, pick up a puck near the blue and shoot. I was admonished that my "S" ain't an "S" if I don't touch the lines. Well, fine, be that way! You want touch? Then touch it is!

The Thursday crowd was bigger than the Wednesday crowd. Go figure. Given my erratic attendance pattern, I can't tell you if it was typical or unusual. The past two days were rather unusual, though, seeing as Kirk was back on the ice and he didn't even manage to goof things up too badly. Anyway, enough Kirk bashing … back to the matter at hand. Joe and Jesse had us working on ... stops?! What is this, a conspiracy with Scott, or an acknowledgement that none of us really quite do it as well as we should? And what was that stopping with just using the outside edge of my trailing foot thing, ... well let's just call it humbling and leave it at that. So let's move on to some shooting and passing, shall we? Start it out with a simple curl around the top of the circle and let loose with that awe-inspiring wrist shot. Now let's advance it a bit to a tight turn with a pass to another tight turn to get that pass back and s hoot with a quick release. Walk. Chew gum. Rub your tummy. Pat your head. And never linger in the zone of death, lest an errant brick-crushing wrist shot should bite you when you are not paying attention.

Did I forget tell you that, when I missed our little club last Wednesday morning, I was in Chicago on a business trip? Did I also forget to tell you that the West Meadows Ice Arena has drop-in every Mon/Wed/Fri from 6am-8am for a mere eight bucks? Yup, brought my stuff and played hockey in Chicago last week, boys. Wasn't I just a sight to see, trampin' through the airport in my skirt and high heels with my suitcase, briefcase, hockey bag and stick :) Beats sitting in some stupid hotel room reading emails, though, wouldn't you agree?

Keep your head up, and your eyes on the goal.